The unimaginable loss of a pregnancy or infant can leave a lasting impact on the lives of those involved. And while this grief can seem impossible to overcome, it is possible to manage. “I encourage parents to reach out for support and try to avoid isolating themselves and going through it alone,” says Amelia Doggett-McCulloch, Program Manager at Centerstone, “Let your feelings out and process them with someone else.” As hard as it may be, allow yourself to sit in that grief and just feel. Melissa Gilbreath, Project Manager at Centerstone adds, “Part of this process may include holding the baby and getting a few photos before you leave the hospital.” Though it may be limited, spend the time you do have with them before they are laid to rest.

When it comes to infant or pregnancy loss, the physical effects can sometimes be underestimated. If you experienced pregnancy loss, your body may still think you’re pregnant, so you may still lactate or experience common postpartum symptoms such as hormonal imbalances or lack of sleep. These physical effects can take a heavy toll on the brain as they are a physical reminder of the loss. Emotional effects of this loss can impact both parents and can include confusion, anger, sadness, grief, withdrawal, and guilt. Additionally, this significant loss can be traumatic and may result in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), intrusive thoughts, and even symptoms of postpartum depression.

Doggett-McCulloch and Gilbreath recommend seeking help and additional support right away. However, this doesn’t solely mean going to therapy or counseling. Seek support in whatever way makes sense for you whether that means finding online resources, joining a grief group, or asking loved ones to be present with you. This can be as simple as allowing them to help you meet your basic needs such as eating, taking a shower, or doing the laundry. It is important to also seek professional help right away if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts.

If you have young children in the home, it can be challenging or even uncomfortable to explain loss and grief to them. “Be clear and use age-appropriate language,” adds Doggett-McCulloch. Try to avoid saying things like ‘the baby went to sleep’ as this may cause the other children to develop a fear of falling asleep. Instead use words like ‘died’ and ‘dead’ and say things like ‘the baby was too small, too sick, or not strong enough.’ Phrasing like this can make it easier for a young child to understand that the baby will not be coming back. In this process, be prepared for a lot of questions, and be patient as it may take them a while to understand the permanence of loss. It can also be helpful to include them in any ceremonies to honor the baby. Even if you don’t think they’ll understand, if they are excluded they may feel that disconnection.

It is possible that the loss of a pregnancy or infant will affect certain relationships and family dynamics. This is difficult because everyone grieves differently. Some family members will want to talk about it while others won’t and will seek out distractions to avoid conversation. Communication is the best way to prevent conflict within the family after loss, so, when you’re ready, encourage members of your family to share their feelings if they’d like to talk about it.

When it comes to honoring the loss of your baby, prioritize what makes the most sense for you and your family. Whether you plant a tree, have their hand and footprints set in stone, or save a lock of their hair, choose an option that feels right for you. If you experience a miscarriage, no matter how early, Gilbreath recommends still naming the baby as this can help with the grieving process and honoring them as well.

There is no set timeline or right or wrong way to grieve. Grief is hard and uncomfortable but is possible to overcome. If you have experienced the loss of a pregnancy or infant and are in need of additional mental health support, Centerstone can help. Call us at 877-HOPE123 (1-877-467-3123), visit our counseling services page, or our Early Childhood Services page to learn more. And, if you are in immediate need of crisis services, call, text, or chat the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.

Additional resources are available through the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline and Postpartum Support International. Both of these hotlines are available for text or call 24/7 and can connect you to resources in your area.

While trick-or-treating and attending parties are ways to enjoy the final day of October, there are plenty of other ways to make Halloween more fun.

• Wellness

By Rose Condra, CHOICES Executive Director

CHOICES Life Resource Center is a non-profit organization serving families across Southern Indiana, with locations in New Albany, Corydon, Salem, and Marengo. They were established in 2004 in New Albany.

In 2017, the Corydon office opened, and in 2019, the CARE Pregnancy Center in Salem merged with CHOICES and opened its current office at 1201 N Jim Day Road.

CHOICES offers compassionate, life-affirming care for those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. CHOICES does NOT provide, fund, or refer for abortions. Additionally, parenting support is offered free for families with no residency requirements or income restrictions.

Nearly 900 individuals have received support this year.

Each center location offers pregnancy testing and life-affirming options counseling. Their nurses provide ultrasounds for pregnancy confirmation in each office except the Marengo satellite location.

Holly Ward, RN, said, “Every pregnant woman, no matter the circumstances that brought her to us, deserves to be supported during her pregnancy.”

Moms and dads are invited to join the StepUp Parenting Resource Program (SUPR). The free SUPR program includes group classes, individual parenting support, and life skills education for families, pregnancy through children under age four.

SUPR includes a Dr. Dad program made just for new fathers.

Clients in the free parenting program earn Boutique Bucks, which may be redeemed in the Blessing Boutique for diapers, formula, clothing, car seats, etc. So far, in 2024, over $250,000 worth of baby supplies have gone to help families in their four locations.

Allison Adams, Director of Development, said of their popular parenting program, “CHOICES, exists to partner with moms and dads in caring for their children. Parents are not offered a handout, but an avenue for education, encouragement, and help with baby supplies.”

To learn more about CHOICES's services, you may visit their website at ChoicesLRC.org.

The Indiana Arts Commission (IAC), in partnership with the Indiana State Library, announced today that the works of 28 poets have been added to the State of Indiana's poetry archive, INverse.

View the poets that are now in the archive.

“Celebrating and preserving the work of Indiana poets is a very worthy project and the Indiana State Library is honored to participate in this collaboration,” said Jake Speer, State Librarian. 

"The Indiana Arts Commission appreciates the partnership with the Indiana State Library, which allows us to preserve and showcase the work of Hoosier poets," said Miah Michaelsen, IAC Executive Director. "The poets highlighted in the INverse Poetry Archive demonstrate the creative talent at work in Indiana." 

An initiative of former Indiana Poet Laureate Adrian Matejka, INverse celebrates and preserves the diverse range of Indiana poetry for future generations of Indiana writers and readers. In five submission cycles, the INverse Poetry Archive has preserved over 470 works from Hoosier poets. 

"It's humbling to read and hear the varied richness of talented contributors on the INverse Poetry Archive--continuing to illuminate Indiana's creativity through poetics that I've been witnessing through the Pop-up Indiana Chitlin Circuit during these past months," said Curtis L. Crisler, Indiana Poet Laureate.

Learn more about the INverse Poetry Archive.